29.
Today, I turn the grand old age of 29. And I couldn’t be happier about it.
A lot of people don’t like birthdays because they don’t like the idea of getting older. Society has conditioned us to view age as a bad thing; that any sign of ageing makes you less beautiful and must be covered up and rectified immediately, and that your best days are always behind you.
I strongly disagree.
Getting older is a blessing and a privilege that not everybody gets. Not every person will get to 29, and so to still be here, living my life as a healthy human, is something that I’m grateful for every day.
I get to live. I get to drink good coffee. I get to go on beautiful walks in the sunshine and say hello to overwhelmingly happy pups. I get to spend time with the people that I love. I get to travel. I get to eat delicious cake. I get to learn more than I ever have done before. I get to go out and give everything I’ve got to making my goals a reality.
And so, those few stubborn grey hairs that keep popping up or those fine lines that are appearing around my eyes, are nothing but gentle reminders of the life I’ve been lucky enough to live so far. But, they’re also gentle reminders that our days on this planet are finite, and to really live and be grateful for every damn day.
It’s cheesy-as-f*ck, but we really don’t know how many days we have left. I’ve spent a lot of the last year trying to figure out what I want to do - with my career, my passions, what my true goals are - and often, I’ve been torn between what I want to do, what makes me excited, and what I feel like I should do.
Each time these questions and doubts start creeping into my mind, telling me that I should go after a higher paying job or take the “sensible” option even when I know that option would make me sad and unhappy, I remind myself that I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and none of it would matter.
What would matter, is that I’ve spent my life doing and chasing after the things that bring me joy, cutting out the toxicity and focusing on what I want to do, and not what I think would be expected of me or what other people might think.
My 29th trip around the sun was full of wonderful-yet-unexpected things. There was lots of healing, some new people that I now couldn’t imagine my life without, all those months figuring out what I want to do with my life, and then time spent preparing and laying the foundations for making it a reality.
This last year has taught me how to be vulnerable with another person, that things will happen when you least expect them, and that the Universe really does deliver when you let go. It’s shown me I’m capable of things I didn’t know I was, that my past experiences don’t have to define my future, and that life is far too short to do sh*t you don’t want to do.
This next year, will be about making it happen. I have some big, exciting, slightly-terrifying changes coming my way, but you can bet that my determined-ass is going to give it everything I’ve got to make sure it works. I’m a Taurus girl after all, and I’ve spent 29 years channeling that bull-headed stubbornness into a sheer determination that means I’ve got quite good at not giving up until I’ve achieved what I set out to.
In 12 months time, I’m hoping that I’ll be sat here, documenting and feeling grateful for how different my life is compared to now, but only in the best ways possible.
Often, I sit and reflect on all of the things I’ve achieved in my life so far despite the challenges I’ve faced, and know that I’ve got much more to give, that I’m capable of doing much more, and how much more there is I want to do and experience.
My best days are absolutely not behind me. I’m pretty damn sure they’re only just getting started.