No, I’m not “too quiet”. Please stop using that to critique me.

My very first school report – and each one for 12 years thereafter – said that I was “too quiet” and, throughout my career, I’ve been told the same. 

I wasn’t “too quiet” at school, I was just a chronically anxious, shy and introverted child who was constantly put in situations that made me want to throw up / run away / bury myself in the ground. 

And then, in my first job, when I opened up about my anxiety to my manager, she told me to “get over it”.  I wish I was kidding.

“Quiet” is me. I am quiet. It’s part of my personality and I absolutely hate it when it’s used against me – or anybody else - as a negative trait. Why are you trying to change something about me that’s so fundamental to who I am? 

Yes, I might not be the loudest person in the room – and I’m not saying that that doesn’t come without it’s challenges – but I am an excellent listener. I come up with great ideas. I pick things up quickly. I remember things easily. I get shit done. I’m super organised and can rustle you up an epic spreadsheet in minutes. I can think both creatively and analytically and can also write you a superb set of terms and conditions if you need those, too. 

I was lucky enough after that first job to get to work in a team – and for a truly great manager - who embraced my “quietness” and let me lean in to all of my other skills. And, guess what? I was able to produce my best work because I wasn’t distracted by having to try to be someone that I’m not in the work place. Talk about nurturing imposter syndrome.

But how amazing would it be if every manager could think the same? 

If every manager could ask those quieter people for their ideas 1-on-1 after the meeting instead of assuming every person is comfortable fighting for attention in a big group setting.

If every manager could take their more introverted team members into account when organising team events and not make every event a drink heavy, charade or role-playing activity.

If every manager could communicate both verbally and via email, to allow people who get their ideas across better written down to contribute their excellent ideas.

There’s been multiple studies and articles - including from Harvard Business Review - showing that introverted people make excellent leaders. We’re better listeners, we’re more reflective, we’re more accepting and will work with others how they want to work and are more likely to understand people and go to greater lengths to ensure others feel accepted. We put others first, make people feel appreciated and will do everything to ensure everyone feels heard, included and safe.

I’m not saying extroverted people don’t also possess these qualities, but "quiet” people can be some of your best assets and leaders if you disregard the outdated - and, dare I say, masculine - stereotype that you have to be loud and extroverted to be successful in business. 

Pay attention to those quieter people and never, ever underestimate what they can do.